or did my circumstances change because I'm happier?

This inquiry arose this morning while sinking my feet into the moist duff at the base of the tall pines in my back yard. The Sisters--two pines, one Douglas Fir and one cedar--create the sacred space where I do morning Qi Gong and meditation, weather permitting. This morning, because of the recent rain, the moisture softened the normally crackly dry forest floor of needles, branches and cones. My feet could snuggle in and the dampness also increased the pleasing aroma from the pine forest. To me, it's reminiscent of camping.

I've been enjoying researching mindfulness and particularly neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the phenomena where the mind can actually change the physiology of the brain--mental training and/or experience has the power to change the physical structure and functioning of the brain.

What does this have to do with happiness? Well, if we can use our minds to actually change the brain, we can self-direct our thoughts to create more of a sense of happiness--more contentment. Less discontentment. And this is all without having to change our external circumstances. We would become less dependent on others for our happiness, so relationships could take on a new purpose and we would be less dependent on our external world, so our consumption patterns could change.

The implications of this are far reaching, really, particularly at a time when it is estimated that 50% of the creatures on the planet will be extinct in 85 years in part due to our over consumption patterns.

This understanding--that we can affect the literal part of our brain that generates a sense of well being and happiness--not only points to the reality that happiness truly lies within us, but more importantly, that we do co-create our own reality. On an even grander scale, this is conscious evolution--self-direction to our next level of being. And, as so many have been intimating for so long, we are the ones we've been waiting for.

We have what neuroscientist Richard Davidson of the University of Wisconsin at Madison calls a "happiness set point," according to a 2007 article in Time Magazine. To keep this simple, the set point is the relative level of activity that a person returns to in the left and right prefrontal cortex area of the brain after experience (positive or negative). This baseline is different for everyone, but Davidson noticed some interesting things when doing research with Buddhist monks.

The novice practitioners in the experiment did experience some immediate benefit--the area of the brain that distinguishes between self and other is quieted during compassion-based exercises, which can be "as if the subjects...opened their mind and hearts to others." according to author Sharon Begley.

Most intriguing, though, was that the long term meditators had markedly more activity in the left prefrontal cortex--where  happiness is marked in the brain, which correlates with a higher baseline level of contentedness. This was not evident in the novice practitioners, which indicates that an increased positive state of being can be trained over time. He also noticed in the long term practitioners a greater activation in the network associated with empathy and maternal love.

What does this suggest for our future when we can generate our own states of contentment, empathy, maternal love and happiness? Personally, if our experience of happiness is truly in our own hands, we might want to get started with ways that can generate these states of being (mindfulness and compassion-generating exercises) and see for ourselves what happens.

Also, we can explore what happens as a result of a happier state of being. What have you noticed when you are in a happy state? Does life flow easier? Do your external circumstances and people's response to you change as a result? Am I happier because my circumstances changed, or did my circumstances change because I'm happier?

What about collectively? Could this be the missing link to our survival as a species? Could experiencing more personal happiness arrest our fear-driven insatiable appetite for more consumption that has us, and many other creatures, on the brink of extinction?

After being invited by Patty Lanier and Lisa Kaplan to lead a meditation for the local One Billion Rising awareness event in Middletown on February 14, 2014 , I did some personal reflection on my history with domestic violence. I wanted to bring my story to the group in a way that could maybe be helpful to others who have experienced violence--sexual or non-sexual. What arose surprised me because I hadn't really reflected on it since my days co-chairing the Domestic Violence Prevention Council in Lake County in 2005.

What I appreciated learning during that tenure as co-chair was that there was absolutely nothing that I can do to elicit an acceptable violent reaction--ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Regardless of how I dress, what words I use, who I choose to see, where I choose to live--none of these choices absolves the perpetrator of violence against me. Period.

I didn't understand this growing up. I was taught that I could dress in a way that would elicit acceptable force against me. Or, I could say something that would justify a smack across the face or a belt to my bottom. What this taught me was how to hold the victim of violence responsible for the violence, when, in fact, it was the perpetrator of the violence that was responsible.

In my family of origin this meant that I held my mom responsible for my dad's abuse of her and us kids. What did she do and why didn't she stop doing it so my dad would stop hurting her? Why didn't she rescue us kids permanently from my dad's drunken outrages? (She ran away--sometimes with us kids--more times than I can count!)

My mom is long gone now. She died way before I became enlightened about the truth of alcoholism in the family and domestic violence. (They don't necessarily go hand-in-hand, by the way.) And so for all her living days, I held an opinion and perspective of holding her responsible for the violent horror that was my childhood. I never got the chance to apologize to her for my misunderstanding--granted our culture itself supports and perpetuates these erroneous beliefs about domestic violence, and I think we all grew up believing these, but I now know better. Can we be held responsible for beliefs we undertake from within the culture? As my friend and colleague Hileri Shand used to say, "When we know better, we have to do better."

In twelve-step recovery circles they talk about making amends for those things you did wrong. Ideally the intention would be to make the amends directly to the person you harmed. But, in those cases where you can't make direct amends, either because they are no longer around, or you may harm them or someone else by doing so (think affairs, etc.), they invite you to make a "living amends." A living amends can take many different forms, but one is to do something in the area of your error that helps others that may have received the same harm by someone else.

As I pulled my thoughts together for the meditation, I empowered them with the intention for it to be a living amends to my mother. To apologize for all those mis-held beliefs about her role as a victim of domestic violence. When I shared this story at the event and then led the group through the loving kindness meditation that included a portion on forgiveness, I realized the significance of this small act in my own healing journey with my mother and my past as tears welled up.

One other thing became clearly renewed in my thinking as well--silence perpetuates the violence. One of the powerful things I learned when working with Adult Children of Alcoholic issues was how the silence helped keep the dysfunction intact. We filed it under "don't air your dirty laundry," but it was so much deeper than that--and it really supported the perpetuation!

Since becoming a public figure, I constantly weigh the impact of my sharing the truth of our family history on the remaining members of my family. While I only have siblings and one aunt left, their experiences in the family may have been quite different than mine. At the same time, there are indisputable facts about events that occurred--the scars that are left, or not, are what remain for opinions, I guess.

I was uplifted to hear a report today on NPR about a new approach in schools called 'restorative justice.' The idea is that rather than have a 'no tolerance' rule on violence, where the students are suspended and the event is never addressed, they now have talking circles with the students involved and the parents of those students--instead of suspensions. The intent is to be open and honest about the incident immediately and restore communication and healing effectively.

This sounds like a great leap forward in our awareness of how to resolve conflicts without violence. As the facilitator of the program said, though, coming from a culture that embraces violent solutions, rather than peace and harmony, it's a difficult task to tow. The good news is that the process is shifting. People are talking, and, as the One Billion Rising campaign insists--no more silence around the violence!

During a recent TV interview I participated in on interdependency (produced by Allen Markowski and broadcast live on TV8 and KPFZ radio) I was reminded about the research on conscious evolution I did for my graduate degree. In evolution, there are at least two ways that something evolves, either slowly and gradually over time or through some unique and powerful process that includes a lot of chaos and usually a bifurcation event of some sort where an "evolutionary leap" can occur. In the latter case, the organism either makes the leap into a higher, more complex form or it falls apart into parts and pieces.

In the conversation, hosted by Nils Palsson, and Laureen Leigh, included Denise Rushing and Loretta McCarthy, Denise reflected on an awareness she and I had almost simultaneously a few years back. (A hundredth monkey experience?) The awareness was about dropping our current path of changing some of the current memes and existing paradigm through trying to change the minds of the people in it. We both recognized how important it was to just begin living in the solution.

It's a form of "Be the change you wish to see in the world," which has a tendency to create a situation of attraction rather than overt promotion. Of leading rather than insisting, which has a tendency to lead to resistance, as we discovered.

It also lends itself to a new perspective--from one of all of us needing to think the same and be on the same path for the new paradigm to emerge, to one of acceptance and diversity as the new paradigm emerges. When thinking of natural systems and sustainable behavior, I like to look to the human body as an example, as it is an exquisitely beautiful manifestation of complexity, diversity, cooperation and expression.

If we were to all think the same and be on the same path--have the same world view--we would be very simple, like singe-celled organisms. In the body, it is important that each of the sub-systems operate as they do for the whole complex system to successfully maintain itself. We wouldn't last very long as a human if we were all liver cells, or all heart cells, or all immune system cells--that would be a de-evolution. Each system is necessary for the whole to operate efficiently and fully. In the midst of all this complexity and diversity, there is stability (but not stagnation--which equals death).

Nature is also is a good place to look when wanting to understand our current social systems and discover new, optimum ones. I liken the transformation of the current upheavals within our decaying militant, top-down governance systems (while simultaneously experiencing the emergence of conscious, self-organizing, diverse and grass roots systems) to the emergence of a butterfly from the cocoon. 

In the process, the butterfly is literally forming and organizing itself within the safety of a dying and decaying caterpillar's tomb. The caterpillar has lived it's life fully--necessarily in fact--and then becomes the container for the butterfly to germinate and be born. From the inside of the cocoon, there is a progressive shifting and changing. From the outside, when the butterfly is born, it looks like an evolutionary leap.

In my final project report for my degree, I posited the inquiry of whether there is sometimes a need for the decaying systems to continue their fight to remain, much like the current paradigm is trying to hold on to its values and forms of governance, in order to keep a form--a cacoon--long enough for the "evolutionary leap" to occur. Maybe what we're experiencing now is both the dying and decaying caterpillar and the emergence of the idea of the butterfly.

In this view, it is important for each and every participant to do what they know in their heart to do. It's why "Soul-u-tion" is written as it is is because it is about you ("u") and your soul--what is it from the very depths of your soul that you are so very moved to do? What inspires you? What is your passion? What do you HAVE TO do? What can you NOT not do? What is the very nature of your being?

When considering it this way, everything from the declining and emerging system organization styles to heart-based action, procreating, cleaning up the planet, managing waste, defending territory and resources through aggressive action (much like the immune system does in the body)--the whole gamut may be necessary for our system survival at this moment.

Now, when I think I want to change a person's mind, belief, value or role in the world, I try to remember this analogy of the emerging butterfly fighting against the crusty and decaying chrysalis. The butterfly doesn't spend time trying to change the chrysalis into a butterfly, as it is the chrysalis that helped create the conditions for its very emergence, but rather continues to become the best butterfly it can and with that strength--that butterfly-ness--it emerges to the exquisite beauty of its being and wonder of its freedom.